Reviewing Joe’s Stone Crab: Seafood Restaurant in Miami Beach.

Joe’s Stone Crab has finally caught up with modern times, and I’m not sure who to thank for it. At one time, it was required that you be male to be a server. And, until recently, you had to know someone, wink-wink, and pay some hefty extra tips via special ritual on the way out to score a discrete but quick seating, or else be relegated to waiting two to three hours in the crowded bar. For many, drinking in the popular bar beforehand was a part of the whole experience. I guess we can thank the popularity of online reservation systems for all of the latest changes. However, Joe’s Stone Crab is still old school in some ways, such as they have a published dress code that requires casual, but no beachwear, no athletic wear, no cut-offs, and men must have sleeves. So casual is definitely acceptable, but keep in mind that most consider Joe’s to be a fine dining experience — with plastic bibs. I’ll elaborate soon.

You can valet when you go to Joe’s Stone Crab, although there is a complimentary manned lot across the street that usually has some spaces to be found. A visit here still seems iconic and somewhat legendary to us South Florida natives. Joe’s Stone Crab has been mentioned in and used for scenes in many movies, and it is the highest-grossing independent restaurant in the U.S., grossing $38.4 million in 2019. It’s hard to believe that, at one time, Joe’s was located in a slightly seedy area of the beach. It retains all of its century-old charm, sophistication, and white tablecloths. The bar has lots of dark woods and glass. The hallways sport historic artwork. There’s a fountain and plenty of chandeliers. The wait staff wears tuxedos and they tie thin plastic bibs around their patron’s necks to protect and keep all the designer duds and beachy casual chic attire clean and fresh. There are several dining rooms, private rooms, a courtyard area, and even areas next door for your take-out orders.

Not everyone eats seafood, so Joe’s Stone Crab offers some amazing fried chicken, which even attracts take-out orders on its own. It may sound odd, but many do it, so here’s an insider tip: order up some fried chicken as an appetizer to start your meal. You won’t regret it. Another tip is while the large and jumbo claws look decadent and amazing, there is nothing to fear by ordering the much less pricey medium claws. All claws are delivered to your table cracked and ready to devour. They are still very easy to eat and don’t forget, you don’t have your plastic bib on for nothing. Every stone crab eater knows the special mustard sauce is almost the true highlight, so be sure to try it. Other absolute must-haves are the creamed spinach, lyonnaise, or hash brown potatoes, and, of course, a finale of key lime pie. Some other menu favorites are the chopped salad, the coleslaw, and the seafood bisque. The entire menu actually sounds pretty amazing, so I wish I came frequently enough to tire of it and thus venture outside of the culinary classics.

Can I put it on my bucket list to get so tired of stone crabs that I try out Joe’s Stone Crab steak, lobster mac and cheese, scallops, mahi, warm apple pie, or bread pudding? Well, a girl can dream, right?